Hi Blog Readers, this is my first blog. I am pretty sure if I didn't tell you that, you would think I had been blogging professionally for 5 or more years based on the witty insights I am sure I will provide on my own life and whatever else happens to be written about. I've read two blogs of friends and don't know what most people blog about. So I am watching the Olympics at the moment with Markham, Landon, and another dude name Crane. I actually don't know if that is his first or last name or his name at all. Maybe a nickname. Or part of his first or last name. Or maybe a reference to his favorite animal or construction machine. Anyway, he is cool and I have met him about 10 times, but I've only seen him in Markham's house, where we are currently at. We are currently watching women's doubles badminton and they are really hitting the shuttlecock hard and fast. Shuttlecock is the name of the item being hit between the players and there are currently a lot of INAPPROPRIATE jokes being made about every ten seconds. It's USA versus Singapore. The US players look just like the Singapore players, as in they are all Asian. Asians always look smart, even when they are hitting a shuttlecock in short shorts with a wannabe tennis racket.
I had a Myspace account a while ago, but I never checked it and I think my account was deactivated. I didn't want any crazy girls that I met on the web tracking me down, taking advantage of me and nobody believing me when I told them later. It would be hard for the authorities to deny the cuts and bruises which I'm sure would be administered by the Crazy Internet Girls. I stereotyped Asians and Myspace Internet Girls in the first 500 words of my first blog. Yes! Ha ha. White Guys can't dance cool or jump high. The word on the street is that Facebook is the way to go if you are going to go a certain way of trying to be cool and connected on the worldwide Interweb. Facebook and this Blog thing. Something about it being "less dirty/slutty" than Myspace. I'm not sure what that means but that is what I keep hearing from the Facebook Fans. Most of the cool people I know tell me that, so I am going to trust them and set this up tonight and Facebook tomorrow. Lots of people I know would also get really mad at me for not accepting them as "friends" on the Myspace and somehow took it as a dis, if you will, when the reality is that I just never logged on. At the time, most of the people I knew in real life that were really into Myspace were WAY TOO MUCH into the SpyMace that it creeped me out a bit and lost its appeal. Anyway, gonna give this one a shot!!!!!
So, my title is a nod to my favorite band of all time, Canada's greatest export, the band that provides the soundtrack to my life, the mighty Nickelback. LOL ROFL LMAO!!! I will go into that one later.
But the one thing I want to bring up tonight for myself and for anyone else that might read this is the subject of Carson Daly, aka "America's Biggest Tool." Nickelback and Carson Daly seem to get into most conversations I have on a daily basis. So in 2001 I was hanging out with a friend and we just got back from a crazy night on the town in Provo. Flipped on the TV and there was this weird-looking dude that I think I had seen before. My friend told me his name was Carson Daly and he used to have a show on MTV called TRL, which mostly focused on teeny bopper videos and rappers I guess. We watched the show for about 5 minutes and I thought it was a news show for supposed "hip," young people. My friend said he thought it was supposedly a comedy show. This caused a lot of confusion from the start about Carson Daly and his late-night TV show. I sometimes watched a few minutes of the show if I was up late and nothing else was on just to see what it was like. I still thought it was a news show, maybe directed towards a demographic of 12-16 years old because the host was pulling the No Tie Shirt Unbuttoned A Bit Too Much Like I'm Trying to Be Cool But Am Really a Creepy Tool look and was not smart or funny, but was sometimes mentioning current events. Word on the street at the time was that no one else tried out for the show so they gave it to him because he was the only person that showed up and they figured it wouldn't be on more than a few weeks. I was in New York a few weeks after catching my first glimpse of the No Tie Shirt Unbuttoned Like I'm an NYC Cab Driver Hilarious Guy on the boob tube. I was walking around Manhattan and a lady and a guy holding clipboards came up to me and asked if me and my posse wanted to catch a taping of the Carson Daly show later that afternoon. I asked how much money we would be getting paid for helping them out. The lady said it was free, as are all TV shows you can see in New York, but no, they wouldn't pay us. She thought more people would be taking the bait on this free show with the No Tie Too Much Gel In My Hair But Not Much Brain In My Skull News Host Guy. I told her my final offer was $50, them paying me, and a chance to meet Conan. She told me I was being a real smart aleck and walked off to continue begging. Homeless people were doing much better than the Carson Daly staffers that day. The amazing thing is that Darson Caly is still on TV. I saw the end of Conan the other day and he appeared again, like a beacon of light in an overwhelming cloud of darkness, doing the news and then sitting at a desk and talking to a guy playing keyboards. I did not hear anybody in the audience, so maybe it was a reality show about a Tool That Is More Boring than 75% of My High School Teachers and a Keyboard Player on a news set? It sounded like somebody was crying offscreen so I would assume that was the camerman. That's it for tonight, my first blog which was way longer than planned. Please send me any pictures, Tshirts (preferrably autographed by the Tool himself) or awesome stories about Carson Daly if you can!!!!! Buenas Noches!
James
